A Guy’s View: Death

“What is it, really?

Is it an it?

Is it an it or a he? Or she?

Not a she. A female reproduces, but there is no possibility of reproduction here.

Really! What female has reproduced on her own?

So – it, he or she?

Not a he, for he is the giver of life.

But does not an angel deliver it?

There is the answer. It is brought by a he, but sometimes at the hand of a she. It is an it.

But neither he nor it is ever welcomed.”

I remember the time when I never knew anyone who died. At the stage of a boy, one would see the hearse and the funeral entourage passing through the district en route to the church. Shopkeepers would close their doors as a mark of respect for the dead. Usually, for us youngsters, our only interest was that it interrupted our game of road-cricket.

Once in a very long while, some elderly person from the district would die. Funeral attendance was mandatory, notwithstanding that you were a child and the departed was an elder with whom you scarcely had any interaction. While there was obvious respect, that lack of relationship ensured that there was no personal impact or grief.

All of that has changed now. Hardly a week passes without someone with whom I was personally acquainted passing. Whether family, friend or colleague, there seems to be a continuous trek of persons who were formerly part of one’s circle of relationships to the other side.

Yesterday, it was the turn of Eli Edwards to be buried, having passed a few days earlier. So many good people are passing that the shock of Eli’s death did not leave me dysfunctional, but it was a timely reminder that death is never far away from any of us.

I have had the privilege of meeting many persons in my short life. Very few could be matched against Eli as far as gentlemanly conduct was concerned. Eli hardly ever raised his voice and was never partial to one’s station in life. He had no difficulty in the company of rich or poor and one could detect no difference in treatment of either.

He was a quiet man. When I reflect on Eli my mind goes to the author of the Book of Proverbs, where he informed thus: “A truly wise person uses few words;
a person with understanding is even-tempered.” A man of few words best described Eli.

But one would have been mistaken if his reserved nature were assumed to be weakness or fear. He chose to be decent and reserved, but this had nothing to do with his ability or willingness to stand on principle. He was a strong character, a fact that may have been missed because of his demeanour.

If some of the rascals with whom I am acquainted could be alive and well, it might seem unfair that a man like Eli would have to depart the scene so early. But death does not operate by that principle. It is never the case that the good lives and the bad dies. Death is not necessarily a punishment. It is shared fairly and visits the good and the bad, the old and the young.

Eli Edwards had the opportunity to be seen by many people as he made his contribution to our society. It is, therefore, easy to acknowledge him. But there are many heroic Barbadians whose names would be recognisable only in their small village circle. Their lack of fame does not diminish their contribution to this country’s development.

For example, a lady of no fame, Elsa Beckles from Branchbury in St. Joseph, was also laid to rest last week. She was better known as Esther Bullin. She was not as young as Eli and, I am told, was ailing a bit longer. For those who were aware of her condition in her later days, her death may not have been a surprise. It is certain, however, that she will be no less missed among her family and friends.

Also, she was not as academically accomplished as Eli was. Without drawing attention to herself, she worked hard at very common jobs to support her family. She successfully raised her children and tangibly contributed to the lives of many others in her immediate family as well as non-family members of her community.
The example of hardworking people like Esther is a useful model for all who observe them. Theirs is the best form of instruction – wordless but impossible to miss. Barbados would not be the country it is today without them.

We celebrated Heroes Day just two days hence. Honest examination of the evidence would call into question the suitability of some of the people we hold up as heroes for that status, but there can be no doubt that the Esthers of this country are heroes and heroines, although they may never be so recognised.

When it is all said and done let us be in no doubt about the conclusion of the matter. Death will continue to harvest our best people and our not so good ones as well. We all owe it to ourselves to prepare for that event, simply because it is inescapable. And find a way to enjoy the life we have, even while we walk in its shadow.