THINGS THAT MATTER: Happiness, Equanimity, Serenity
“There is only one happiness in this life – to love and be loved.” (Amantine Dupin – alias George Sand, French writer, 1804 – 1876)
Some definitions:
Happiness: A sense of well-being, joy or contentment.
Equanimity: Mental calmness, composure - especially in difficulties.
Serenity: A state of calm, tranquillity, peace of mind or peacefulness
March 20th is International Day of Happiness, with the theme: “Share happiness and be part of something amazing”. How happy are you most of the time? And how much do you share happiness, and help to make others happy? There’s been increasing interest in the subject of happiness in the last few years, even at political levels.
It’s generally agreed that a happy person is one who experiences mostly positive emotions, such as joy, enthusiasm, well-being, contentment and satisfaction with life, and much less frequent negative emotions such as sadness, discontent, anxiety or anger. The United Nations World Happiness Report 2018 studied 156 countries, using Gallup World Poll surveys of several hundred thousand people. The top ten countries, in order, are Finland, Norway, Denmark, Iceland, Switzerland, The Netherlands, Canada, New Zealand, Sweden and Australia. All the top countries have high values for all six key variables which support well-being: income, healthy life expectancy, social support, freedom, trust and generosity.” What the top four, the Nordic countries share (apart from severe cold!) is strong social support services and networks.
But note: correlation with the economy and income isn’t nearly as strong as with social variables – family warmth and social support – social capital. This is very strong in Latin America. A dramatic recent change is the sharp drop for Venezuela, with the current chaos there. Likewise, given their extraordinary political scenario, the USA has fallen from 13th to 18th place and no doubt falling further.
In the Caribbean, Trinidad, at 38, is well above Jamaica at 56. Is this because of the legendary Trinidadian Carnival spirit? Trinidadian teenagers holidaying on the Maxwell coast in the summer when I was a teenager often said: “Trinis love to par-TY!”
Many people – from the wise sages of antiquity to today’s celebrities - have their own definition of happiness. Aristotle said it was all about activity. But it was Epicurus, the ancient Greek philosopher (341 – 270 BC), who was the first serious thinker, writer and teacher to focus on happiness. He started a school of happiness called The Garden. He believed and taught that mental pleasure was more valuable than physical pleasure, and the ultimate pleasure was freedom from anxiety and mental pain, especially that arising from needless fear of death and of the gods. His rejection of superstition and the many gods of his time, led detractors to accuse him of loving high living, and ironically and quite wrongly, a definition of Epicureanism as devotion to physical pleasures and hedonism.
In fact, his main tenets were:
To put less emphasis on romantic relationships and more on friendships.
To put less emphasis on money, but to work with others to achieve fulfilment.
To put less emphasis on luxury and material things.
He decided to live with friends, and created a kind of commune where everyone lived and ate together – The Garden. They devoted themselves to finding calm and equanimity. I’s ironic that today’s materialist society focuses on the three very things that Epicurus taught were false lures of happiness – romantic love, professional achievement and physical luxury!
I first came across the concept of equanimity in the writings of Sir William Osler (1849 – 1919), a Canadian, who was mentored as a teenager by the Barbadian Dr. James Bovell. He was a legendary clinician, teacher and writer, was regarded throughout the 20th century as the greatest of modern physicians and labelled the modern-day Hippocrates. In his splendid address to the graduating doctors at the University of Pennsylvania on May the first, 1889, titled Aequanimitas (Latin for equanimity) Osler emphasised the importance for doctors to cultivate the quality of imperturbability or equanimity. His advice included: “One of the first essentials in securing a good-natured equanimity is not to expect too much of the people amongst whom you dwell”.
Which leads me to the slightly different concept of serenity. While I think of equanimity as composure even in difficulty – a skill or attribute for being calm and unruffled no matter what – precious for the doctor, the fireman, the soldier and other obviously highly stressed professionals, it’s really desirable for everyone in life – a consistent, sustainable, life-long trait for a calm and happy life.
Most Christians will be aware of a powerful prayer to achieve such a consistent, sustainable, life long equanimity, which I think of as serenity – a peace of mind or tranquillity – a somewhat more joyful state than mere equanimity. And the prayer I speak of is known as the Serenity prayer: “Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
For Christians, who understand the value of faith and prayer, these few words, as a prayer, can be life changing. But for anyone and everyone, regardless of any kind of spiritual belief or lack thereof, they are profoundly rich and sensible. There are many life situations, both personal and communal, which we may not be able to change, and we need the wisdom to recognise and not dwell on such negative situations, worrying ourselves to death or ill health. Often patience is critical to our acceptance with serenity. There’s a splendid poem that will reassure my women readers and annoy my male friends: “Patience is a virtue, Possess it if you can, Seldom found in woman, Never found in man.” Not quite true, but it makes the point that patience is rare, but it’s a precursor to serenity, as Father Jonathan Morris puts it in his best seller The Way of Serenity.
And changing the things we can provides solutions … it provides challenges we can overcome, and fulfilment. Professor Paul Dolan, Head of Behavioural Science at the London School of Economics, has earned the title Professor Happy from his research and writings on happiness. In his book Happiness by Design; Finding Pleasure and Purpose in Everyday Life, he emphasises the link between pleasure and having a purpose in life. By making deliberate choices that bring us both pleasure and meaning, we can redesign our lives for maximum happiness.
Some of his suggestions include: spending time with friends and family (like good old Greek philosopher Epicurus), with emphasis on good relationships and engaging fully (e.g. listening and putting away your cell phone!) Connectedness and meaning are key – close friendships and partnerships, and loving relationships. Also, recognising the value of humour and laughter (laughter is often the best medicine, and in fact, just smiling can improve mood and level of happiness); enjoying nature in every form; being useful and helping others.
And as Lynda Resnick, American billionaire entrepreneur-businesswoman says: “When you wake up each morning, you can choose to be happy or to be sad. Unless some terrible catastrophe has occurred the night before, it’s pretty much up to you.”
It’s not always as simple as saying “Don’t worry, be happy”, when bad things happen, but how we react to bad things is the key to our happiness. It’s not easy to be happy after a loved one dies, or a bad accident, or you lose your job, but bad things too will pass. As the philosopher Nietzsche said “That which does not kill me makes me stronger”.
So remember “A smile is the most attractive thing you can wear”, and as someone else said; “Happiness is love. Full stop!” Share happiness and be part of something amazing, not just now at Christmas time but every day, in every way, all year round.
A Happy Christmas to all my readers, and may the peace of God “which passes all understanding”, joy and serenity be with you now and always.
Congratulations: to our great sporting champions of the year, and especially Shane Brathwaite, Jason Holder, Chelsea Tuach and Josh Burke.
Professor Fraser is past Dean of Medical Sciences, UWI, Professor Emeritus of Medicine and President Emeritus of the Barbados National Trust. Website: profhenryfraser.com