EDITORIAL: Too many men under pressure
Recent reports suggest that we are losing some of our Barbadian men as a result of the social pressures meted out to them, as well as the negative stereotypes that often hover over their heads.
It is said that many men are “repressing their feelings” and seeking to be seen as quite “macho”, when in fact they are burdened with a number of challenges that they wish they could seek help for. It has further been noted that whilst some men are taking their own lives, others are battling a number of chronic diseases, as a result of all this pressure.
The information came recently from a panel of experts gathered for the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Barbados’ panel discussion on the topic, “Men’s Risks in 2020: Sexuality, Suicide and Sudden Death”, which was held at the Barbados Museum.
Now we are well aware that in Barbadian society, there are many boys who are raised to be men from very small. They are told that they are not to cry and show their emotions, that they must be in control at all times, that they are to be the dominant ones in the households and they must not show fear. “Man up” is often a phrase many young boys will hear when they seek to express feelings of doubt or if they truly want to air concerns they have, that are not seen as something a man should be grappling with. On the other hand, we desire males to be sensitive when they enter into relationships and not to be hard on their own children as they raise them, yet we encourage them to be “rough and tumble” at all times, not recognising that males too need an outlet to express themselves and have their challenges addressed, as do females, though they may not express themselves in the same manner females do. We cannot raise our males to be responsible, well-adjusted adults if we continue to shut our ears to their cries and encourage them to be “manly” and to ignore their problems over and over again. We are seeing the repercussions, as they play out in this modern society.
Too many of our males are locked away behind bars, because they have decided to be the man and take matters into their own hands. Too many want to show that aggression is the true mark of a man, when this is not necessarily the case. Too many youngsters do not know how to engage in any conflict resolution skills, because they either have not been taught any or deem them “too soft” to use in public, if they want to retain their status and image. Thus, we have some work to do when it comes to reprogramming our males and providing them with a safe outlet in which to express themselves and even get assistance from persons who are confidential and who could truly help them mitigate a challenge before it becomes a crisis.
Whilst we have had a few organisations set up to assist men facing challenges, it seems that somehow, enough is not being done to really and truly change what is the Barbadian narrative when it comes to stereotypes about men. The recently established Men’s Empowerment Network Support however says it will be the new organisation on the scene to champion the cause of men and to assist many of our males in rising above the challenges they have long been facing. Such an organisation is needed. We hope they can do more for our males, who need various types of interventions.