EDITORIAL: Celebrate fathers
THIS weekend, we will take the opportunity to take a closer look at the role fathers play in the family. Historically, the role of the father in the family was to provide financial support since men were the main breadwinners, while the nurturing and care of the children were left to the mothers. This was the accepted societal role that each parent played and this traditionally-accepted behaviour was usually passed down from generation to generation.
The origin of Father’s Day lies in the early 20th century when Mother’s Day was readily accepted, but the idea of a ‘Father’s Day’ was laughable ‘in spite of support from the YWCA, the YMCA and churches’. Even though Father’s Day has since become a fixture on our calendar, we still have some way to go in embracing their importance in the lives of our children and ultimately our communities.
Indeed, with the increased demand for improved women’s rights in the last century, the female role drastically expanded. Men have had to cope with women who have, over time, become more independent in their own affairs, as well as within the household. They have also had to accept women usurping many of the traditionally male-dominated roles in the workplace while still managing to fulfil their accustomed roles in the home. Men also witnessed women improving themselves through education and building their status in society.
Over the years, stories of men who have walked away from their partners and abandoned their children have been given prominence in the media, both here and abroad. There are some who have been blamed for the behaviour of young males, especially, who have issues related to indiscipline in schools or who end up before the courts because they have not played a substantial role in their lives or have not set a good example overall. Instances such as these have placed many fathers in a negative light, so much so that some people have created in their minds the false image that men do not have it within themselves to love and care for their children in the same way that women do.
However, The Barbados Advocate would like to highlight the attributes of men who work tirelessly to contribute, not only financially to their families, but emotionally to the development of their children. We seldom see in the limelight the single father who has taken the place of the mother and works equally hard to ensure his child’s success; nor do we see regularly the father who is going above and beyond to have a relationship with his child/children because he does not live in the same household with them.
Myriad cases have been exposed where it has been revealed that men who want to play a vibrant, hands-on role as fathers to their children are being denied the opportunity to do so by some uncaring, unscrupulous women. This is as unjust a situation as a mother being treated badly, and the time has long come for such instances to be treated as strongly by the law. The issue of DNA testing has also been placed squarely on the table, and measures have been put in place to make sure that in appropriate scenarios, the significant cost is shared by both parties. Yet, they are constantly maligned by some feminists in the public domain.
Admittedly, in our profession, outside of the recognition of Father’s Day, we have perhaps not done enough to highlight the fact that several young fathers, in particular, are rising to the occasion and showing interest in their children’s health, education and recreation. Younger men are realising that there needs to be a balance between working hard all day and focusing on the paycheque, and spending valuable time with the family. In short, there are many men in Barbados, who, despite the hue and cry about the shortcomings of their sex, have risen above these negative expressions of disapproval and have reaffirmed their place in the home and the society.
Let us continue to acknowledge the progress that our men have made, and continue to make, to the benefit of our country while continuing to show how proud we are of their successes.