From the Boundary: Love is all you need ...

Fast and furious, the ‘missing values’ debate feverishly limps on. First, it was the Anglican Bishop, Dr Holder, in a “press conference” at Diocesan House (Nation, 30 April), and then last Sunday at St. Cyprian Church (Advocate, 9 May), where he warned against “unchristian behaviour” and urged the “wholesome righteous path”. An Advocate editorial (May 8) also weighed in on the ethic of hard work which, apparently, needs to be “drilled into our children ... from a young age”. Would “drilling” potty training by numbers be a good start? But then, apparently, if you don’t work hard not only won’t you get a job, you won’t lasso a “significant other” either. Does that mean: ‘Fella, the girl won’t want you if you aint got no money, so you’d better get a job and work hard’? Should girls just stay at home and wait then? 

Now we can all agree, surely, the pivotal role of parents but are we talking about all parents or only some, all children or only some? Though the ‘nuclear’ family is one thing, what of the single mother chasing from job to job to make ends meet and often with no maintenance support? Well, yes, doubtless life, even for her, might be easier in nice, respectable middle class areas with family around. But what if she’s in government housing on estates with a high crime rate? Her challenges far exceed her opportunities, surely? And what of the children? Do we mean five, 10 or 15 year olds, each with their own special needs and demands? When we suggest they suffer from ‘missing value syndrome’, who are we talking about: the kids of a doctor living in ‘smartville’ who attend church every Sunday, or the kids in ‘scrubville’ who are left free to roam at week-ends because their mothers are working? Do we mean kids with ‘brains’ who go to Harrison College, or those who don’t have that opportunity and are found to be ‘difficult’ at school? Do we know why they’re ‘difficult’? Have we tried to find out? In other words, there are so many variables that to lump everyone together and expect uniform responses is like saying you can chew through meat at the same rate no matter the number of teeth you have in your mouth. We simply don’t all come uniformly pre-packed.

Another newspaper invited Joe Public to comment on Dr Holder’s press conference remarks. The Bishop’s thesis was that the present “chaos” in schools is a consequence of the “disconnect between the Church and the home”, and the loss of those values which “for better or worse” are really only to be found in religion. He didn’t identify the downside, the “worse”, and explicitly had no plan to confront the issue – well, except to say there was going to be a youth rally, which would set an example to the young, and that many priests were to be found in a second employment as teachers in schools. Now I’m not sure how a handful of reported cases of alleged violence in schools make for “chaos”, nor what the evidence is for his suggestion that “we’ve seen a generation growing up with almost  a very faulty sense (sic) of what is right … and wrong.” But then, as they say, if you treat glass right it won’t crack.

Now Joe Public’s response to this (Nation, 6 May – Hot Topic – The Church is not blameless) was rather critical. Yet those who contributed exhibited, I think, an abundance of common sense and much insight, and I hope Dr Holder will listen.

One commentator suggested that today’s parents spoil their kids rather than instil values. I’ve heard this one before in my potterings around Bridgetown randomly talking to people and, indeed, the Advocate editorial (supra) makes the same point. Yet everyone agrees that one reason is that many parents want their kids to have the things they didn’t have, which seems to me an entirely laudable objective. I don’t know what values these kids are taught, though I know the need to work hard is on the list, but I can say that these days I invariably witness the most loving relationships between parents of all classes and their children in the streets. Twenty years ago, it was so often the language of ‘I will lash you’.

Another commentator stressed that “we have to investigate why the youth are so disconnected”. Good: ask them. Or are we afraid of what they’ll tell us? A lady suggested that the Church must reach out in practical ways. Another said it wasn’t doing it. Time then to leave the comfort of Henry’s Lane and get out into the market place. Pope Francis has said as much.

A leonine gentleman was confrontational. ”I’m so tired”, he said, “of people always connecting ‘good values’ to being Christian.” Yes, exactly. Do you need God to be moral? Does the Church have the right to dictate to non-Christians how they shall behave?

Dr Holder’s suggestion that religion offers values ‘for better or worse” is hardly encouraging. The ISIS monsters say they have ‘religion’ values too. Do we mean Biblical values? If so, we’d better tread carefully. Remember Voltaire?

“It is characteristic of fanatics who read the holy scriptures” he said, “to tell themselves: God killed, so I must kill. Abraham lied, Jacob deceived, Rachel stole: so I must steal, deceive, lie.”

So yes, why not a ‘godless morality’? It might show we’ve grown up.

At St. Cyprian Church, Dr Holder said we must all be “good examples”. A young commentator said the Church wasn’t one. The fact is that people are tired of the old ‘don’t do as I do, do as I say’ mentality. ‘Smart phone syndrome’ isn’t only a kids’ thing; and it’s for this reason too that I find Dr Holder’s boast, at the press conference, that many priests are also teachers rather odd. Is the priestly ministry part-time then, and is it OK for a priest to collect two salaries with attendant benefits? It seems only yesterday that it was argued from the pulpit that “unproductive” workers running multiple jobs should be sent packing. Can a priest be said to be productive? How do we measure it? And how productive is he if he runs a second job? Actually – do we really NEED priests?

The virtue of these Joe Public comments is that they demonstrate that this entire debate about values is not all-or-nothing, this or that, and that given all the variables there are no tidy answers. They challenge us to step beyond mere patronising admonition and enjoin us to enter dialogue, not least for the simple reason that the professedly ‘great and good’ may be neither ‘great’ nor ‘good’ – save in their own eyes.

Take care, then – until the next time.

Barbados from the boundary:  “In this place of wonder, God makes himself known to those who love him” (John of Dalyatha).